Last night I got into a state and started crying and sobbing uncontrollably and asked my boyfriend what it is about me that makes people want to treat me like s***.

The reason for my upset was I logged on to Twitter (I am an infrequent Tweeter) and noticed that a friend of mine, someone I used to work with, someone I would consider myself to be close to and even one of my best friends in my town, had tweeted that he had moved to London.

He had moved to a different country without telling me.

He had moved without giving back the books I had lent him.

There is a chance I had misinterpreted what his tweet said (there I go giving people the benefit of the doubt again) but surely it’s not just me who thinks when you move to a different city you 1) tell your friends you are moving and 2) give them back their property?

I don’t know how many of you are avid, passionate readers, but my books are precious to me. And I can’t afford to replace them, I also can’t replace them, at least not until 2018 when I can ‘buy’ again.

I will be honest and say I am unsure what I am more hurt by, him leaving and not telling me, or him not returning my books.

So this led me to start crying. When I get in a state like this I feel like I want to tear my skin off. I feel like I’m on fire with rage, and stress and despair.

I try to be a good friend to people. As a result I can be too trusting, too forgiving, too accommodating and too ‘nice’.

One of my friends who reads this sent me a message recently advising me to stop giving a f*** about what people think (to be truthful the message actually said duck not f*** but I assume that was auto correct)

I guess being nice has won me some true friends, but it has also gained me some complete dickheads in my life as well.

Cut the crap, focus on the good.

Published by flodebtfreediary

Hello, I write about food, debt, saving money, mental health and social anxiety.

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