Bottle Living

I am not quite sure how to begin saying this.

After nearly 16 years of sobriety my mum has been drinking.

In the last two weeks I have had one text from her, and I have left about 10 messages for her on her phone with no reply.

I don’t know when my mum started drinking again but I take it it was recently, I have found out a few details from my aunt (my mum’s twin).

Due to my need to control every situation I have pre-prepared in my mind an answer to every hypothetical situation, from ‘What would I do if my child was bullied?’ to ‘If I went back in time and went to a different university, how would I make sure I meet my boyfriend?’

I had always planned in my mind that if my mum started drinking again I would cut her out of my life.

I once told her this and she said she was glad to have heard it as it would help her keep sober.

Now I am in this situation and I don’t know how to proceed or what to do or what to think or what is going to happen.

I just want my mum to be safe. And well. And not drunk.

Because I can’t go through all that again.

Published by flodebtfreediary

Hello, I write about food, debt, saving money, mental health and social anxiety.

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