Yes I didn’t blog once on Friday 21st April, which is the first time all year.
A bit of a disappointment but it was going to happen eventually.
I was at a gig, in the past, on the 21st and I ran into an old friend from one of my many previous employments and we had a good chat on the basis that we hadn’t seen each other for a good couple of years.
The trouble is when I see someone I know in a pub or at a gig or in the street I go out of my way to not say hi to them, even though I want to.
The reason is I am genuinely perplexed as to why people like me, and what I have to offer them, so I mainly avoid talking to people because I’m convinced my wishing them well will somehow ruin their day and it will be really awkward and weird.
When really the only awkward and weird thing in the situation is me.
I have a bit of a problem with talking to people (as you all know) so I avoid getting into conversations which could be stilted, or forced, or hard. I find it difficult to keep a conversation going with people I only half know as I go into MEGA PANIC STATIONS that they will think I’m boring, or weird.
I would have called the evening a success as I had a good conversation with someone I shared a similar experience with. But later in a different pub I saw someone I knew at University at the bar and I didn’t say hello to them. That may have been due to the crowd of people they were with and that would have exasperated my anxiety, but let’s just leave it as I am improving.