The thing about my anxiety was it was very much rooted in the everyday, the small things of life, my narrow view of focus on the world.
Such as my personal finances, losing weight, caring for my friends and family.
But as the world turns I am finding that along with worrying about everything in my life I am worried about the wider world as well.
I have recently, finally, started watching The Handmaid’s Tale.
I love the book, even choosing it as one of the books I had to select to write a comparative essay on during my English Literature A Level (you won’t be surprised to hear that the other book was 1984, which at the time was my favourite book of all time until I discovered Murakami).
I love Margaret Atwood, so I don’t say this lightly, but I think the TV series is…better than the book.
They have added so much to it, true, things that weren’t in the book, and normally when TV/Film execs do that you want to punch them in the face and say ‘NO! STOP THAT BUSINESS!’ but I really think it works.
The only thing is, when I first read the book as a slightly pretentious and completely geeky 16/17 year old I was safe in the knowledge that that would never happen.
But I am afraid about many things in the future. And whilst it’s not like I think the world is going to turn into that of The Handmaid’s Tale, at least not yet, I no longer think it is completely outside the realms of possibility.
I guess maybe it is easier to focus on how the world is going to hell, because doing that distracts me from how my life, or at least one aspect of it, is going to hell.