Today has not been a good day for me mentally. I have good days and bad days. Sometimes I feel like I am the happiest person in the world and at other times I feel like everything is going wrong.
My sleep has fallen apart. I am constantly tired. I feel bloated and lethargic and weak.
I am struggling with working from home. Which is wrong, so many other people are worse off than me. I never realised how much I crave human interaction until now.
The food budget has completely overblown this month. I’m going to have to increase it to £400 next month (£200 each for me and the flat mate). This is going to cut my disposable income dramatically but I’d rather be prepared food budget wise.
All my bills have been paid for the month. I have about £17 left in my account. I get paid next week. It could be worse.
At least there are no more ants in my flat.
I am struggling a bit with lock down. I am trying to keep busy. I am trying to make the most of my time. I am trying to be productive. And some days I am. Some days I feel like I could have achieved more, but that is toxic productivity coming into play.
I am not sure what the rest of this year holds in store. No one knows. No one can predict anything. Interestingly I am reading a book called ‘The Black Swan’ by Nassim Nicholas Taleb about unpredictable events. I have a feeling this book will be reissued in a few years’ time with a new section about this pandemic.
But I am getting further away from talking about my debt free diary. I must keep strong. I must focus on the 27th August when I will become debt free. There is unlikely to be the party I was originally planning. Maybe I will make and decorate a cake, much like I did when I paid off my overdraft. It looked a bit like a contender for a Pinterest fail, but it was a novel way of celebrating it.
In 98 days’ time I will be debt free and to an extent my life can begin again. It will be interesting to see what the future holds after that point and it is at the very least something I can look forward to on the horizon that should predictably happen.
I can only hope.