You’re in a bad way

Yesterday was a day in the chronicles of my life. Today was another. I did not like today. I have fallen into my comforting bad habits. Comfort eating. I have also adopted a worrying new habit. I have started having a drink after work, sometimes not even getting to the home first but having it […]

Tentative Steps Towards a Better Future

At the Wedding yesterday I decided how I wanted to live my life going forward. I want to ‘Let People In’. At the Wedding as Bridesmaid I was one of the key guests, a role I found ‘terrifying’ but even though in the days preceding the Wedding I was worried I was going to ruin […]

Don’t Touch, Don’t Approach, Don’t Feed

I don’t have an ipod, I have a tiny little MP3 thing that fits about 6 albums, you cannot select songs, but it is fine, it provides me with noise when I want to block people out in a socially acceptable way. Combine with sunglasses and I can avoid the whole world. Today I decided […]

Help Me if You Can, I’m Feeling Down

I can’t shake the feeling that things are going to get worse before they get better. I find it difficult to cope with ‘good’ so I don’t know how I can proceed. The boy and I have had stressful days today and as a result have been sulky and uncommunicative towards each other. Whereas before […]

I’ve seen pigeons with more confidence than me

Most people when they get a job in their dream field (which they thought was out of reach to them) would be overjoyed. About 24 hours after I found out I got the job in my dream area, I was looking for reasons to diminish the achievement. I began telling myself that I only got […]

Rebellion 2: If Food be the Music of Love…eat on

Yesterday I spoke about how my getting into debt was probably a rebellion against having to be so careful with money, and indeed not having any money when I was younger. Well, I believe there is another area of my life where the current bad state I am in was caused by a sort of […]

My Worst Moments of Anxiety #1 (Part 2) Newport State of Mind

#1 Part Two Newport State of Mind Newport, South Wales 2011-2013 After leaving the awful job in Newport and spending a summer mostly unemployed I gained a job working in Cardiff. It was my first, and to date only, full time permanent job. When I applied for the job I only had two references that […]