I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream

(By the way you should totally read the short story the title of this post comes from, but I must warn you, it is a brilliant story, but it is also one of the most depressing things you will ever read) Today was not a good day. I was overcome with despair. I haven’t been …

I’ll Drink Anything, As Long As It’s Poisonous

I am re-reading Alexis Hall’s ‘In The Red’ for something like the 5th time this year. This is because when I feel that I have f***** up my life royally due to my debt (such as facing the crisis of my contract at work ending with no savings in the bank) then I like to …

I Live To Fight Another Day

All I can say about today was it was better than expected. I have people looking out for me. And I am financially sound. I want to run away but no one will let me. Are they trying to make me braver? Stronger? I’m not sure if I am capable of that or if I …

Putting Me First

I have just returned from my counselling session, where the focus was ‘Who Am I Doing This For?’ This was because last week I had remarked that often I only tried to make myself better for someone else’s benefit as opposed to my own. In today’s session we uncovered that I put everyone else first …

I Can’t Get Excited

Today I had my initial consultation with Mind. It was good but I was left with more things to deliberate over. My anxiety is picking up again. I seem to have left the uncontrollable crying stage behind, but I am still scared and panicky about the next steps. Whenever I get like this my instinct …

Am I Allowed To Be Ok?

I have moments where I forget the horrors of Wednesday (and I don’t just mean in regards to my own personal situation, but also about the victims of the Grenfell Tower tragedy). When those moments are happening I feel, dare I say it, normal? Which, once I’ve acknowledged that I feel ok, is usually enough …